Day 09 - Messed Up

I do not know what this paticular guy (let's name him O) has to hold against or for me. O used to like me once but met with a rejection when asked for a relationship and we became friends from then onward (not friends to be exact but we did use to talk generally when situation asked us to do so) and yesterday on the field trip he made so fun of me, like he was enjoying it and he didn't know that i wanted to kick him in his face real hard. he took the mickey of out me the whole time and left no chance to caricature me as if i was the only girl he was noticing through out!

But at the same time when i messed up the whole field purpose and the expedition, O was the one leading to console me. When i was depress earlier, he brought out the positive vibe in me once again. He solaced me like anything!  but why the constant teasing and harrassing me i do not get. i just do not. I did see him me staring at me a hell lot of times. But that still doesn't mean he could degrade me to shit in front of everyone.


A mixture of rage, confusion, helplessness, anger, humiliation has flooded my mind. It's all going through my mind like commets in a mid-night sky. But i cannot find no one to help me out. I could figure all the shit out if i would have understood what's going on myself, but how do you find the solution when you do not understand the problem, but you still you know what that is.


P.S dear imaginary reader, you may be of some help too.